A$her Caiden Early

One June 24^th, 2005 Traci and I became parents.

During the hurricane season of 2004, Traci and I lived in Lakeland Florida while attending Southeastern University. When we found out Traci was pregnant, one of Traci’s first indicators was her body’s reaction to the smell of the stale air in our 700-square foot apartment that had lost power during one of the four or five decently serious hurricanes that season. I didn’t smell anything other than the need for the air to circulate. 

We would trade days of emotion, one day I would be calm, cool, and excited for a kid while Traci would be freaking out, then within a day or two we would trade places. I was 26 years old and Traci was 23, we talk now about how we were just kids, especially after being involved in work for two decades with 12-30 year olds. 

As we settled in to the idea and excitement that we were having a kid, it was so exciting watching Traci grow this tiny little human inside of her as we would always keep up with the comparison to a bean, an egg, or whatever the size was that week. Hearing the heartbeat for the first time was wild, exciting, and made this such a real experience for us. At twenty weeks, we HAD to find out what color the first pair of Vans (that he never kept on his feet) were going to be. As soon as we left the Dr’s office we started discussing names for our soon coming son, within hours or days at most we knew his name was going to be Asher. His name is Hebrew and means “happy and blessed”, and because Asher sounds so much like a snowboard kid that rips. The true meaning could not have been more accurate of a choice on our part. Asher has always been a happy kid that blesses our lives. 

From the moment Asher was mobile and vocal he has been on the move and happy to play with friends, make new friends, play by himself with Legos guys and cars, and this guy has loved movies from the very beginning. I don’t know if he remembers much movie wise before Lightning McQueen came on the scene. Our little family moved from North Carolina to Colorado a month before Asher turned two. We didn’t really know anyone when we got to Colorado so our days consisted of the local park, the mall, the pool, and movies at some point during the day or evening. The first year in Colorado I think we must have watched Cars a hundred times. 

In my work at churches through the years Asher would always just walk right in to a new class and seemed unbothered to wave to Traci and I so he could go play with friends. If we had been out of the house for a couple of hours he would calmly ask “can we go home and play toys?”

His first friend here in Colorado was his buddy Talen, they met within the first couple of hours that we arrived in our new town and they became quick friends.

The years moving toward kindergarten were so fun, we didn’t have lots of commitments other than my job and attempting to enjoy our new home. We honestly needed dual income or at least one and a half, soTraci found a job at a place called Kindercare, she worked in a room with kids that were a year or two older than Asher which meant Asher wasn’t with Traci. I believe Traci worked there for a total of one week, one day I dropped Asher off to Kindercare where Traci was already at work and this was the first and only time I saw Asher cry when dropping at a class setting. On my way to work I called Traci and told her I wanted her to quit because it ripped my heart out seeing his reaction to that place. We decided that I could work nights somewhere if needed but we wanted Asher to be with Traci (especially in those years). 

A few weeks later the YMCA called Traci to follow up on an application she had filled out. Traci ended up being the director of child watch at the YMCA beside our townhouse and Asher was welcome to go there with her and hang out and play with friends-it was perfect.

Asher started kindergarten the year after Amery was born, when we all went to drop him off as normal, he walked right into class and waved to us and joined the group. Traci stood there watching and I stood there basically sobbing behind my sunglasses. This really caught me off guard, I think subconsciously I knew this started something that wasn’t going to stop, he was growing up. Every year after that was fine at the first day drop off, except third grade we decided to try homeschooling so we could snowboard more often and turn him into a pro, it all seemed to make sense to us. About 2 hours into the “lets homeschool” venture we sensed a problem and ended up tucking our tails by day three. We had a discussion with Ash that ended with us asking “do you want to go back to school,” his response was like an answer in a lightning round of a gameshow, “YES!” So back to our local elementary school he went. 

During the elementary years as I was discovering how to be a dad, I got so much wrong. My responses were short, rude, or frustrated, mostly because I was unhappy with myself about something that had nothing to do with Asher. During these years I became better at apologizing, and discovered that working out helped me to be happier and to respond better. Asher was ALWAYS so gracious to me and would accept my apology and forgive me and move on with a great attitude. I was excited for him to start middle school and high school, I had tons of fun in both and knew the kind of personal growth and learning he could experience in these years. 

High school was more his speed than middle school, he found a group of friends that he clicked with and began to flourish academically and socially. Outside of school if he was going out and doing things it was with this group of friends. 

Asher can safely be labeled the best brother in the world, from the moment his sister Amery was born he’s been watching out for her, he even offered her gum and showed her his new toy when she was just a few hours old. Amery has multiple anaphylactic food allergies that we are always aware of and from the time we discovered these, Asher has rolled with the program and helped us watch out for her when others are around. 

When Asher got his license, he would pick Amery up from school most days and drive her home. I’m sure there were funny conversations on the jeep rides home. Some days he would surprise her with her favorite food, chick fil a French fries when he picked her up from school. 

Asher once agreed to drop Amery for an appointment one day where I ensured him that she could be dropped off and be safe until I got there because of the type of appointment but instead of leaving her he called me and said he was going to wait there in the lobby to make sure she was okay. 

I am so proud of the man that Asher has become. Asher has more perseverance than most adults I know and seems to have this inner determination that is inspiring to me. He had some physical challenges during middle school and high school that would have put me in the floor, but Ash faced everything head on and has shown how determined he is and refuses to slow down or hold back. Ash has always been labeled by those that are around him and get to know him as kind, caring, compassionate, polite, and handsome!

I am so excited for his future and to see what’s in store for him as he starts this new chapter. 

When people used to tell me “hold on tight because it all happens so fast” I never took it seriously – I thought it was just some cliché phrase people threw around until sometime in his junior year of high school. When his senior year started it seemed like it ended immediately. During his senior year we tried to have lunch together once a week or so, it didn’t always work out but I am so thankful for the days it did or even if he would just stop by my office to hangout for a few minutes during his off period.

Yesterday, Traci and I dropped our buddy off for his first year of college. He is only an hour away but the drive home last night seemed like we were driving across the world as I thought the entire way home of all the things I hope I got right in my word and example to him. 

Just as Asher can safely be called the best brother in the world, he hands down gets the best son we could have ever imagined title too.

Friends, if you have kids, please listen to me closely. Soak in ALL the moments, do the things that they want to do that you may not be that in to because faster than you can imagine you will be here in our spot wondering how in the world this all happened so fast.

We Love you Ash man!